Time isn't on my side

I don't like how time passes so quickly.  I don't think it's fair that in less than 5 months, I will be a college graduate.  I REALLY don't like that in less than a month I start back to school.  I've been thinking about it, and I wish that I could just suspend time right now, that it would stay where it is for awhile.  That I could just continue to be fed weeks of summer warmth and rest.  That I wouldn't be nearing long days of student teaching and short nights of sleep.  That I could continue on with my responsible irresponsibility and depend on my parents (mostly) for just awhile longer.  Remember that show, "Out of This World," with the girl who was half alien, Evie?  She could freeze time by touching her fingers together.  Too bad that only works on TV.

I really struggle with the whole growing up issue.  Mostly, I just don't want to do it.  I think that if I were more sure of what I was going to be doing when I graduate, I would be more excited.  I'm so torn between two choices.  Whenever I begin to lean towards one, I feel this huge sense of guilt that I'm not leaning towards the other.  Both options would be great.  I'm trusting that God will either close the door on one, or if he doesn't, that he'll give me a completely different opportunity or just help me feel some peace about it all.  It's weird, because on one hand I'm totally worried about it, but on the other hand, I'm not at all.  It may seem like I really am, but for me, this isn't worrying at all. :)  I think the whole singleness and uncertainty of future relationships is maybe a bit of my fear, like it would be easier if I were somehow attatched to a man, but really, I'm excited about being single.  I'm really independent and I can't wait to have my own apartment and my own life. 

So basically, I just don't know what to think.  Today, however, my vote is for freezing time.