Song of my Life

On Thursday night at my girls bible study, I asked my friends to pray about my job. As all of you who have been reading my blog for any lenth of time know, I have a love/hate relationship with teaching first grade. I love the children, but I hate teaching that age. The kids are precious, but I am very easily frustrated with them. It also scares me that I'm responsible to teach these children to read. What a huge thing! The foundation for the rest of their life- their ability to learn, to get jobs, to even function in society- rests on me teaching them how to put their letter sounds together to make words. I'm not a big fan of that.


OK, quick story before I move on and blog about what I actually intended to. On Tuesday, we had a field trip to Casa Manana, a theatre in Fort Worth, to see "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." It was pretty good, and the kids did a good job. Fortunately, two of my trouble makers weren't with us. One little girl was in ISS for cutting a little boy's ear with scissors. On purpose. It was bad. Another little girl was sick, I guess. Anyway, as we're driving in the bus over to Fort Worth, I had a conversation with a precious little one that went like this:

"Miss Walker, did you know where all the beer and cigarettes came from?"

"What?"

"Did you know the devil made all the beer and cigarettes?"

"Well, yes Rosie*. That's exactly right! How did you know that?"

"Me and my sisters were talking about Jesus, and we said that he made all the good things, like food and water, and the devil made the bad things, like cigarettes and beer."

"You know what? You're exactly right. What else did you talk about with your sisters?"

"Did you know that sometimes Jesus talks to you?"

"Yeah, I did know that. Tell me more about it."

"Well, sometimes if you're really still and you just sit there and listen, you can hear Jesus saying things to you."

"That's right. What does he say to you?"

"He tells me to be good, and do good things, and to listen to my parents."

"Oh, that is wonderful. I am so glad to hear that."

"Does Jesus talk to you, Miss Walker?"

"Oh yes, Jesus talks to me, too."

And at that point, she lost interest in the conversation and started telling me about how she cleans the whole house and her sisters help her. The funny thing is that she's six years old, and both of her sisters are younger than she is. Which probably also makes for interesting conversations about Jesus.


Anyway, back to the original intended purpose of this post. On Thursday night, I mentioned to the girls that I'd like for them to pray about my job. I think that I want to keep teaching for awhile, but not in my current position. I don't feel that I am doing as good of a job with these little ones as they deserve. I think I'm much more suited for kids that are a bit older. I've had all kinds of thoughts in my mind about what I should do next year. Should I stay in the exact same spot for one more year? Should I stay at my school and change grades? Should I go to a different school? Should I go to a different district? Should I try to teach closer to where I live? All of these are questions that I really don't have answers to, and so I want the Lord to decide for me. I asked the girls to pray that whatever happens will just happen. That a job will just present itself to me and that I won't have to go around looking for something, because whatever the decision is, I don't want it to be of me.

Well, last night at church I was taking some decorations for the Christmas party up to Miller's office, and my phone rang. It was my mom, telling me that she had run into her old principal at Target. My mom teaches in Irving also, and the principal that was at her school for the past several years was given the job this year of developing a new elementary school in Irving that will open next year. Awhile back I had asked my mom if she was interested in teaching at the new school, and I mentioned that maybe I could go over to teach at that school if she would hire me. I hadn't really given it much thought again since then. Anyway, so when my mom ran into her at Target, she was asking about me and how my year was going, and mom told her that I didn't really like teaching first grade. She told my mom that she taught first grade for one year and then got away as quickly as possible. I totally understand that! They said goodbye and went along with their business of shopping for whatever it was they were wanting. They ran into each other again as they were leaving, and the principal asked mom if she thought I would be interested in coming over to the new school to teach for her. My mom said that yes, she thought I would most definitely be interested, and then the principal asked her which grade I would want to teach! So, nothing is set in stone, but it's possible that I will have a new job next year, teaching my choice of grade! How amazing is that!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Lord's timing! Sometimes it's hard to wait, but whenever you see the way he's working for good, it's awesome. I mean, two days after I ask these girls to pray about this, I suddenly have a confirmation of sorts that the Lord really is looking out for me, and that he wants me to be happy, and that he wants me to know that he's really here. And of course I know all these things, but it's always so nice to get a reminder.


Today I am filled with thoughts of the Lord. I woke up this morning thinking about him, and I just want to think about him forever. I don't want to stop. I don't want to have any periods of time, even short periods, where he is not the most important thing on my mind. Shane and Shane performed/led worship at The Branch last Sunday night, and I've been listening to this song all week, over and over. It took on a new meaning to me last night. I want to leave you with this prayer.


Name's Sake
by Shane Barnard

i come to seek Your face
Holy Spirit won't You fall on us
speak wisdom to Your people, Your saints
fill us with the knowledge of You
fill us with the knowledge of You

overwhelm my heart
overwhelm this place with a passion for your name
i need Your tender mercies
Holy Spirit won't you make a change

for Your name's sake